Changing Your Life
Have you ever been so stuck in a rut that nothing made you happy? You just wanted to change your life and everything about it, but didn't know how?
Maybe you haven't. Perhaps not everyone goes through a period of feeling that they don't belong or need to find their place in this world. For those that do, the feeling is like being imprisoned. For these people, it takes internal courage and support to overcome those mental fears and live the life they are truly capable of living.
Live the life you are proud of! I hear you saying this is easier said than done. Some of us get stuck with IDEA of who we should be, not who we really are. That was what being an talent agent was for me. My business was people, and people aren't always nice. Some days I felt like I was trying to sell my soul to feel wanted or needed, and I was losing myself in the process.
One step at a time...
If you feel this also sounds like you, take one small step at a time to make changes. Only you know what makes you happy. Maybe join a gym, take up acting classes or try a course at a community centre. Try different things until you discover what makes you, you! Have your own life, and if you do have a partner, at least then you may have more interesting things to talk about. And if you don't, spend the time learning who you are and what makes you tick. Love you first.
When I wrote the character Nikki in my book Can't Fight Fate, I drew on a lot of my own feelings and personal experiences. The psychic reading is my actual reading from when I was 21. Nikki is a complex character—she appears to have the world at her feet, with a comfortable life and her partner a doctor. Being an agent, I too appeared to have everything. While everyone said I was crazy to walk away from a life that had given me so much, it was definitely the best thing I have ever done.
When I was selling my agency (which took over two years), sometimes I would believe it would never happen. I became consumed with anxiety; I had to keep the sale secret so talent and clients didn't go to other agencies. I also worried about what the world (and the people around me) would think. It became this search for answers or a way out, and in this, I became a prisoner captive within the walls of my own mind. The voices in my head circled with conflicting thoughts and emotions, always falling back to the psychic reading from when I was 21—the perfect everything! My entire world falling apart, but for some reason HOPE is what kept me going. Hope that I could have everything I wanted.
Anxiety makes you over think everything you do in life. When you find your mind looping, maybe write your thoughts down to release them, or do some intensive cardio exercise. I have found both of these have been very helpful for me, and have helped me shape my life to one I am happy to live. I now jump out of bed in the morning to do something I love.
And as Nikki discovers in Can't Fight Fate,
It is true the only person I can change is me, for so long I've been begging and hoping for change. It is time to start... Time to wake up and smile; time to start treating the most important person in my life with the love and respect I deserve. Time to wake up and smile at that person in the mirror; time to stop blaming everyone else, for what it is that I need to change... Me!